(10/25) Daily Practices

Last Week Total: 46,502 dots

Practice 13: Monday (10/19)

4,626 dots - Dorm Room

I've noticed that my body temperature increases while I'm doing the counting of the dots.  This caused a pretty large distraction from the counting itself--since I had to literally get up and turn on my fan.  I'm naturally warm almost all the time... but I usually don't notice it.  I wonder if my body temperature increases while we do the mindful yoga exercises.  Can you raise your body temperature under cognitive power--instead of physical work?

Practice 14: Tuesday (10/20)

4,350 dots - Dorm Room

I did today's dots fairly early in the day, which actually caused a problem.  I think my mind is a lot more active, so I miscounted fairly often.  I really struggled bringing my mind back to the counting, for it would immediately embark off somewhere else.  I would swear I was concentrating on the counting... then some complete tangent would hit me across the face.  I'm going to try and do this at night more often, since I feel like the day is slowing down and I can clear my thoughts easier.

Practice 15:  Thursday (10/22)

4,723 dots

I struggled with ignoring the frustration behind losing count of where I am in my counting--which in turn made it harder to keep count.  I found myself putting down the pen and "restarting" very often.  I eventually got into a better mindset once I concentrated on the fact that there is really no goal to this.  I am not going to ever "finish" this picture.  I am only drawing a picture in order to record the number of dots. 

Practice 16:  Friday (10/23)

3,663 dots -- 20 minutes

I experimented with changing the amount of time so I don't anticipate when the timer will go off.  I've gotten to the point where I can "feel" when the timer will be done, which in turn distracts me from the counting.  This 20 minutes also feels less threatening.  I know I can't get much done within the picture in 25, let alone 20.  This forces me to think about the counting more than the actual picture. 

Practice 17: Sunday (10/25)  "Mirroring Assignment"

3,800 dots -- 20 minutes

In response to the reading, I attempted to integrate the "mirroring" concept from this week's reading.  In addition to the counting, I wanted to add an additional element to my practice that I would be in control of.  I chose to monitor my breathing while doing the counting exercise.  I realize that I technically can't monitor or "do" both at the exact same time--but instead--I tried to keep the co-dependent on each other.  For every ten dots, I would inhale.  For the next ten, I would exhale.  In this way, I wanted to center my body rhythm by connecting these two actions.  

Since this exercise demanded more attention, I feel like I concentrated on the numbers a lot more often than drifting away.  It was easy to get out of synch with my breathing, so I became aware of my mental departure from the exercise much quicker.  In addition, once I got into a good rhythm, I felt more involved with the process.  I felt more centered around the action of dotting the paper since my concentration was heightened while monitoring multiple elements.  I also noticed I would sway with every breath--slightly, but noticeable.  

At times, the actions felt as if they were not separated by their numbers (1 2 3 4 5 ... for the numbers -- 1.  2.  1.  2.  for the breath).  The dots became a tapping that felt like a musician keeping time in a song.  Keeping with that analogy, the breath then became the melody.  At times, I wouldn't get enough air before 10 dots came, however, the melody carried through the dot counting as if it fit right in with the song.

Total Dots: 67,673

(10/21) HW Assignment

"Thin Slice" Awareness:

For this exercise, I chose to observe and note my awareness while interaction with my computer.  Since this is a piece of technology I frequently use, I can imagine that I usually block out my perceptions of this object--concentrating more on what I'm using the object for.  

I pay particularly close attention to where my body comes into direct contact with the computer.  I realize that, for the most part, I don't actually touch it.  My under forearms are resting on the desk while my fingers float about the keys.  Even that contact is fairly quick.  If I'm reading something on the screen, my hands naturally move away from it--usually supporting my head so that I can comfortably lean to the side.   

I habitually pay so much attention on the visuals of my screen rather than what I'm actually doing to the computer.  I rarely take into account that this is a machine that processes information.  All I seem to see is an "end result"--and so that's what I always demand from it.  If the computer is going slow, or not doing what I want it to, only then do I start paying attention to peripheral information.  Is it over heated?  Is it plugged in to the wall?  Is it making odd noises that it isn't supposed to make?

It seems my interactions with this object are all "frustration-based"--and that I become more aware and open to information when I perceive that there is a problem.  I may only notice that my computer isn't plugged in until the "DANGER LOW BATTERY" message appears.  With this fact in mind, I realize that I will only understand the innerworkings of a computer, or any electronics, when their is something wrong.

To tell the truth, I think we barely notice many things we interact with unless there is a problem to shift us into a new perspective. 

(10/18) Daily Practices

Last Week Total: 21, 563

Practice 7: Monday (10/12)

3,756 dots - Dorm Room

I was very tired when I did my daily practice tonight.  Most nights, I'll find it hard to fall asleep since my mind goes off in a hundred different directions.  I feel more centered after doing this exercise--since I was mentally practicing to clear my mind so that I could count the dots.  I feel a lot more calm and ready to let today go in preparation for tomorrow.

Practice 8: Tuesday (10/13)

3,633 dots - Dorm Room

From "(10/13) Homework Blog"

"In attempting to perform this sort of mindset with my daily practice, I think I became too caught up in the literal action of letting the objects do the task.  I concentrated so hard on removing myself, removing myself became the goal.  Not only did I have the goal of counting, but now I had the goal of attempting to remove myself form the counting (which seemingly counteract each other).  The frustration of this week's author seems a lot more relatable.  It seems as if our mind's ability to fail or succeed surrounds every mental decision we will ever make--which makes removing it nearly impossible."

I also noticed this week that I was hyper sensitive towards making this a competition with myself.  I'll be so worried about getting more dots, I stop making them as fast.  I also worry that something is going to go wrong with the timer, and that it won't ever go off--how would I know when to stop?

Practice 9: Wednesday (10/14)

3,739 dots - Dorm Room

I've been counting the dots in sets of 100.  When I reach 100, I make a small tally-mark on a sheet of scratch paper to keep track.  Then, I start over.  This process of fulfilling a set goal in repetition is a practice I use almost everyday for meaning and meaningless things.  I try t think about what category this project falls under.  What does each number really mean?--each corresponds to a dot , but that doesn't necessarily mean anything.  Maybe in a larger group these numbers mean more and more.  Does that mean that--at some point--there's a certain number of dots that "means" something and a certain number that doesn't?

Practice 10:  Friday (10/16)

4,000 dots - Dorm Room

Tried a new method of counting.  I still marked every 100 dots, however I counted in a different way.  I thought about the dots in 10 sets of 10.  Since it's easy to count to 10 repeatedly, I say in my mind " 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 -- 2 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 -- 3 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10" until I get to one hundred.  I started doing this about 2/3s of the way through (I'm guessing since I don't see the clock).  I find it odd that my quickness in counting makes me dot faster as well.  If i couldn't count, I would inherently slow down.  And the timer DID ring at 4000 dots perfect.

Practice 11: Saturday (10/17)

4,876 dots - Dorm Room

This new method of counting, though it goes faster, tends to leave my mind faster.  My mind seems like it drifts away even quicker since the pattern becomes so rhythmic.  I find I have to slow myself down to only concentrate on the numbers themselves. 

Practice 12: Sunday (10/18)

4,935 dots - Dorm Room

I have noticed a reoccurring pattern of my over-all attitude post-daily practice.  After the counting, I feel much more centered.  I feel as if I'm not trying to be in multiple places at once.  I feel much less worried about future or past events and more aware of what's currently going on around me.  This effect might be intensified since I do it at night before I go to sleep, and my exhaustion form the day is contributing.  However, there have been plenty of times where I go to sleep with too many things on my mind.  That seems to happen a lot less often now. 34

Total Dots: 46,502 dots

(10/13) Homework Blog

Question in Response to This Week's Reading:

The Zen Master seemed to repeatedly make reference to "removing" the human attachment of performing a task.  With any task, there is a set goal.  If the goal is not met, failure, and if it is achieved, success.  With no human interaction with the objects required to perform that task, how can their be failure or success?  I believe that the Zen Master means that his student has removed themselves from the action of archery.  The bow and arrow are interacting without any interference from the human mind (even though for the task to physically take place, the human must be present).  The bow "cuts through him" for it is as if he is not longer there after the arrow is let loose from the bow.  In this way, we allow the objects to pierce through our existence--giving the objects meaning instead of giving ourselves meaning.  With no goals in mind, things can just be done instead of meant.

In attempting to perform this sort of mindset with my daily practice, I think I became too caught up in the literal action of letting the objects do the task.  I concentrated so hard on removing myself, removing myself became the goal.  Not only did I have the goal of counting, but now I had the goal of attempting to remove myself form the counting (which seemingly counteract each other).  The frustration of this week's author seems a lot more relatable.  It seems as if our mind's ability to fail or succeed surrounds every mental decision we will ever make--which makes removing it nearly impossible.

Daily Practice (10/11)

Last Week Total: 6,967 

Practice 3:  Wednesday (10/7)

3,780 dots - 25 minutes - Common Room

I find that counting these dots is much like the breathing exercise, for my mind constantly strays away from the task at hand and drifts to somewhere in the past or the future.  This makes counting difficult.  At the same time, I think it works as a great training for meditation.  Where in a breathing exercise, if I lose my concentration, I may not realize it for several minutes.  If I lose that concentration, I stop counting, and I immediately notice.

Practice 4:  Friday (10/9)

3,626 - 25 minutes - Dorm Room

It seems that my most constant/frequent interruption of my concentration tends to relate to "worrying" about how much time is left.  Since I am such a competitive person, I feel as if I need to be completing more and more dots.  I find it ironic that this very thought is what slows me down.  Maybe that's a good conclusion I can draw from this daily practice exercise--thinking is a powerful interruption. 

Practice 5: Saturday (10/10)

 3, 526 - 25 minutes - Dorm Room

Today's practice seemed to go by much quicker than usual.  I didn't feel as motivated today to bring my mind back to the counting, so I constantly drifted off somewhere else.  However, the counting was never really interrupted.  I imagine the numbers as text in my mind now, and I rarely have to speak out loud.  This process is starting to become more subconscious-- so I will need to work harder on bringing my mind back.

Practice 6: Sunday (10/11)

3,664 - 25 minutes - Dorm Room

I went into this daly practice worried about how soon I was going to get this post up for tonight.  Going into one of these sessions with an actual thought worrying you completely changes the practice.  Instead of bringing my mind back from small tangent thoughts, I had to drag myself away back towards the counting of the dots.  It seems as if the number didn't decrease, despite this set back.  I'm fairly surprised by this.  

This Week's Total: 21, 563

(10/6) Daily Practice Week One

Practice 1: Monday (10/5)

3,570 dots - 25 minutes - Common Room

The previous day I set up the drawing with a light pencil sketching of the facial features to lay a ground work (and to put my mathematical mind at ease).  I found that counting the dots was exceedingly more difficult than I imagined.  I would pause mid-dotting just to remember where I was, or what number came next.

Practice 2: Tuesday (10/6)

3,397 dots - 25 minutes - Dorm Room

I had to count while music was on this session, since my roommate was on his laptop.  If I asked, he would have turned it off, but I sort of wanted to see what would happen if I kept it on in the background.  I had to train my mind to only listen to melody, because the second I would start to hear the words, my mind could no longer count the dots... or I would forget what I was doing.

Total Dots: 6,967 

(10/7) Homework Reading Response and Activity

For my mundane activity, I've decided to tie my shoes.  In my four years of track, I had to constantly change out of different running spikes for several different events.  Since I've gotten so used to this simple action, I want to see what truly "thinking" about tying my shoes will do. 

I play a sort of "mental video" of tying my shoes, wanting to cheat and physically try it.  Instead, I close my eyes and try to recall the movements of my hand without the laces.  I can distinguish three major parts within the action--visualizing where the laces rub and tighten together.  I think about where my hands have to grip the laces, and how they have to squeeze and relax at very specific points.  It's interesting to wonder how, at some point in my life, I was clueless on tying my shoes.  That this action wasn't second nature.   

Recording myself tying my shoes didn't really change my impressions of the action. When watching the video back, I can pretty much following along with what my hands are doing.  However, when I see how I do the double knot, I feel like my fingers are randomly moving until suddenly there's a knot.  I go back and try to concentrate only on the fingers.  It appears like they're almost fumbling with the laces.  Yet, somehow the knot is still tied. 

When I try the action for the first time, it's nearly impossible to record my thoughts.  I do the motions so fluidly that it's hard to really judge what's going on inside my head.  When I try it a second time, I do it much slower.  There seems to be a rhythm to how the laces get tied.  I don't really stop and think about the next step, but instead, there's a sort of memory in my fingers that plays back the actions.  I feel like I'm watching something instead of really doing it.  I try it for a third time, trying to name each step as I go along.  I try to verbally dictate the actions of tying my shoe, which helps me understand the action much better